Athlete of the subtle energy
Energize the body
Grace of a cat
Strength of a lion
A body that vibrates Nam
Master of the rhythms
Of sexual love
Traveler over the cosmic waves
Astronaut of many realms
Devotee of the High Priestess
Grace beyond the world's prudery
Bold as love
Silent as Truth
In Los Angeles, there was a bookstore called "The Bodhi Tree." Named after the tree under which the Buddha reached enlightenment, it was stuffed with every kind of book concerning esoteric wisdom: yoga, tarot, astrology, Sufism, Buddhism, Kabballah, the teachings of spiritual masters, mystical poetry, mythology, dream interpretation, lucid dreaming, Shamanism. In three of four rooms crowded with shelves, tables and display cases, heady wafts of incense pervading the entire atmosphere, I would walk in and my mind would expand to ten times its normal size. The veil between dreaming and sensing would become very thin. I hardly knew which way to turn. I had begun to learn and practice Kundalini Yoga as taught by Yogi Bhajan. Never before had I been more tuned into the infinite variety of information available to the human sensory system. I felt a longing for the mystical; the sense that the spiritual world and the phenomenal world were intimately entwined. Thoughts, both consciously tracked and subconsciously felt, flooded my young and still uncrystallized mind. Emotions, feelings, longings, desires, erotic musings, spiritual aspirations, moved through my awareness in waves. My body was sensitive. In my early twenties, pulsations of hormonal chemistry, nervous excitation, muscular tremors, alternating pulsations of vital energy, followed by crashes of fatigue and vacant lethargy, moved through me with no clues about what I could expect from moment to moment.
One day I came upon a book called Sexual Secrets by Nick Douglas and Penny Slinger. Filled with drawings and selected artworks of ancient Eastern cultures and Western practitioners of Tantra and Yoga, the oversized paperback edition felt like a forbidden treasure map. Sadly, or perhaps fortunately, I was a virgin at the time and the kingdom of erotic love was as intoxicating and strange to me as a fairy tale to a child.
I was particularly struck by the first section of the book, which depicted a naked man and a naked woman in various Yoga postures. Every angle, tension and extension of the human body displayed in glorious precision and detail. I was enraptured. Turned on. Inspired. Challenged. I felt the ecstasy and subtlety potential in our human form. Then there were the explicit postures of men and women in Tantric conjugation. I learned that in India, a cock was referred to as a Lingam, a wand of light. A pussy was referred to as a Yoni, a sacred creative space.
My teacher, Yogi Bhajan, was a master of Kundalini Yoga. A towering man with a voice like the roar of a lion and poundings of thunder, he lectured on what he saw as the decadence of American sexuality, its flirtation, its lack of integrity, its basis in neurotic compulsions and complexes. He wore white robes and a fine white turban like a regal crown. He led meditations that required exertion, intensity, courage to move past the limitations of the physical body, which are really limitations of the ego mind. He filled me with a sensation of reality. He showed me that there was a real strength within the totality of my physical, mental, emotional, spiritual being. I could harness that strength, expand it, discover new possibilities.
Beginning my journey into the realms of erotic Tantra, I felt like an outlaw. Having reading several scriptures on the discipline of Yoga, I understood that its most spiritual practice involved a kind of wrestling match with our carnal desires, mastering them with strength of will, devotion to a teacher and integration of wisdom and knowledge. But something awakened in me, stirring my heart and soul, when I began to understand that the path of Tantra does not involve battling the erotic impulse, but rather embraces the erotic, transforming erotic inspiration into devotion, creative energy, deep breath, spiritual awareness and a deep internal evolution and development of the human experience into a Divine Cosmic experience.
I have followed this path with many twists and turns for thirty-five years now. I have been graced to find my Tantric Goddess. The portals of infinite love unfold, uniting past, present and future into an ongoing awareness that unites the luminous void of pure spirit with the awakened dream of erotic ecstasy. I am an astronaut of endless realms of creative energy. The Bodhi Tree is rooted unshakably in the One Being of the One Creative Spirit. Its branches extend in every direction, laden with fruits of love, wisdom, knowledge. Extending unto the infinite. I have learned to call this path the Alchemical Marriage of Spiritual and Erotic Love.